The Subtle Art of Spotting Bullsh*t
Here we are in peak hustle season.
I know you’re there—sprinting toward year-end targets and deadlines, juggling family expectations, managing last-minute travel plans, wrapping gifts, planning menus, and maybe even trying to summon the energy to figure out who TF you want to be next year.
Up front, you've got a 10-mile to-do list, but In the back of your mind, you're already thinking about what’s next. How future you wants to show up, how you’ll change, and how to find more joy and purpose.
Meanwhile, your inbox and Instagram feed are flooded with THOUSANDS of ads promising happiness, purpose, health, and wealth ... better bodies, fancier cars, bigger houses, and fancier gadgets—all for the low, low price of … your already super-limited time, energy, focus, and long-term sanity.
Real Talk: it's not just the people who are trying to sell you STUFF ... the self-development industry is chock full of snake oil salesmen, charlatans, self-appointed “gurus,” and overhyped nonsense.
And they REALLY love to take advantage of the Season of Spending and Scarcity by trying to get you to buy into their instant success stories and wildly overstated results.
But here’s the plot twist—you can still find groups, programs, methodologies, and 1:1 support that will skyrocket your growth, confidence, and ability to create sustainable change in your life.
But you have to be REALLY discerning.
The key is to look beyond flashy marketing and find experts who actually practice what they preach.
Research shows that high-quality coaching can lead to measurable improvements in self-confidence and performance [1], while evidence also highlights the impact of deep, personalized mentorship on long-term well-being [2].
You can totally:
Spot the mind-blowingly ridiculous offers and roll your eyes at the absurdity
Toss everything that doesn’t resonate straight into the “fuck-it bucket”
AND build a life that feels aligned, purposeful, and yes—joyful most days without the burnout
… ALL without sacrificing your soul or your first-born child to do it.
How? Read on …
Step One: Master the Art of Spotting Bullsh*t
Snake-oil salesmen (and women) prey on your insecurities.
They promise instant fixes for deep issues and solutions that “work for everyone.”
Real growth, though, isn’t one-size-fits-all—it’s nuanced, deeply personal, and takes time.
Some red flags to watch out for:
Over-the-top promises with no evidence or lots of photo-shopping (“Lose 30 years off your face in a month!”).
Testimonials that feel staged or too perfect ("I went from $0 to $1M in 90 days!")
A pushy vibe that feeds urgency or scarcity ("This offer ends in the next 4 hours!" ... but you know it doesn't).
Stop, breathe, and ask yourself: “Does this feel aligned? Or is it triggering something in my body that feels like tightness, constriction, heaviness, or agitation?”
You'll know what to do when you tap into your body.
Step Two: Tame the Chaos
No one’s going to slow it down for you. The chaos out there is only going to keep building.
But you can reclaim your energy and calm your nervous system so that you get see through the chaos to focus on what really matters.
External Chaos
Social media, news, and family expectations keep our nervous systems overstimulated and stuck in survival mode.
Long-term, this leads to burnout and emotional dysregulation.
The antidote? Boundaries.
Turn off notifications. Studies show that constant pings reduce focus and increase stress [3].
No screens before bed. Blue light from devices suppresses melatonin, disrupts sleep cycles, and harms your circadian rhythm [4].
Schedule screen-free time. Even short breaks from technology lower stress and improve mental clarity [4].
Internal Chaos
Then there’s the voice inside—the one that tells you it’s not enough, that you haven’t done enough, that rest is “lazy,” that someone outside of you knows better.
That inner critic feeds anxiety and blocks your ability to be present and make decisions that serve your highest purpose.
Here’s how to work through it:
Thought downloads. Spend 5 minutes daily writing down every thought in your head. No editing. Just barf it all out on paper, then walk away from it. This creates mental space so you don't have to keep ruminating.
Meditation. Even short meditation practices can lower cortisol, reduce reactivity, and calm your nervous system [5]. Decide WHEN you’re going to do it. (Like, right before I start the coffee maker in the morning.) Set a timer for even 3 minutes and commit to doing it every day. Watch what happens.
Plan stillness. Schedule moments of intentional pause. Set an alarm on your phone or use a really simple app like: Mindfulness Bell.
A calm nervous system is FAR less susceptible to falling for B.S.
Step Three: Find The Person Who Will Call You on Your OWN Bullsh*t!
No one thrives in a vacuum, especially when it comes to identifying and addressing their blind spots.
It’s like trying to cut your own hair without a mirror—you’ll miss key angles and end up wondering why things don’t look quite right.
This is where having the right support system can make all the difference.
A coach, mentor, or even a trusted friend can act as a mirror, showing you the habits, thought patterns, and limiting beliefs that might be holding you back.
Research shows that 80% of people working with a coach report increased self-confidence, while 70% experience improved relationships and performance [1].
The right person will:
Challenge your assumptions without judgment.
Encourage alignment with your deeper values, fostering fulfillment and long-term satisfaction.
Hold space for exploration at your own pace, creating the safety necessary for real growth.
This support isn’t just about achieving goals—it also regulates your nervous system by promoting feelings of safety and connection, which activate the parasympathetic system to reduce stress [6].
Step Four: Create a Strategy and Test It
There’s no single blueprint for creating a fulfilling, purposeful life. It’s about testing strategies and refining as you go.
Set your intention. What do you truly want to feel, achieve, or experience?
Choose a strategy. Hypothesize how you’ll get there.
Measure your results. Track your progress—what’s working, what’s not?
Adjust. Tweak and refine your approach.
This process isn’t about perfection. It’s about cultivating resilience and choosing to turn your attention to growth rather than distraction.
And when you take responsibility for your own evolution, you're moving toward more and more authenticity, and the B.S. out there becomes SO obvious and so much less tolerable.
Final Thoughts
Learning to filter out the B.S. and focus on what matters most is one of the most gratifying skills you can develop.
You can slow down, tune in, and build a life that’s deeply aligned with your values and desires.
But no one’s going to create that space for you—you have to claim it.
References
ICF Global Coaching Client Study. International Coaching Federation. Accessed at: https://coachingfederation.org/research/global-client-study
Cohen, S., & McKay, G. (2018). The influence of social support on health and well-being. In S. Cohen & L. G. Underwood (Eds.), Social support measurement and intervention: A guide for health and social scientists (pp. 219-239). Oxford University Press.
Mark, G., et al. (2016). Effects of screen time breaks on stress and productivity. Journal of Behavioral Research.
Chang, A.-M., et al. (2015). Evening use of light-emitting eReaders negatively affects sleep, circadian timing, and next-morning alertness. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.
Davidson, R. J., et al. (2003). Meditation alters brain and immune function. Psychosomatic Medicine.
Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation.