TRYING TO ‘HOLD IT ALL TOGETher’?
There’s a moment in every high-achieving person’s life when they realize that the thing they thought was their superpower—their ability to hold it all together—is actually the very thing breaking them apart.
Maybe you’ve felt it, M Test?
That sudden awareness that despite all your best efforts, all the boxes you’ve checked, all the responsibilities you’ve managed to juggle with the precision of a high-wire act … something still feels off.
And worse, it’s starting to show.
You tell yourself, just push through.
You pride yourself on your mental and physical toughness, your ability to get things done, your reputation as the one who never drops the ball.
But at what cost?
The Myth We’ve Been Sold
Somewhere along the way, we were sold a myth: that success means handling everything with grace, never letting them see you sweat, and making it all look effortless.
We were told that balance is something you achieve by just working harder, being more organized, getting up at 4 AM to force yourself through a grueling workout (ironically labeled self-care), and somehow also excelling in every area of life—career, relationships, family, social circles, health, and personal growth.
All lies.
“Holding it all together” is just another version of hustle culture, dressed up in a polished package.
It’s the illusion that you can keep everyone happy and meet every expectation without falling apart yourself.
But let’s get real: You’re already exhausted.
Your nervous system is fried.
And the cracks are showing, whether you admit it to yourself or not.
Sometimes, things will fall apart despite our best efforts.
Take Mike, for example.
A successful small business owner in his late 40s, he'd spent decades priding himself on his ability to power through.
Long work hours, constant problem-solving, and always being the go-to guy for everyone else—he wore it like a badge of honor.
But behind the scenes, his health was slipping, his sleep was wrecked, and he barely felt present with his wife.
Every time he thought about slowing down, an inner voice would whisper, If you stop, everything will fall apart.
So, he kept pushing … until his body made the choice for him.
A health scare landed him in the hospital with a minor heart-attack, and for the first time, he was forced to ask himself: What am I really doing all of this for?
That’s when he reached out to me.
He was at his breaking point, exhausted and ready for real change.
Through our work together, Mike committed fully—showing up, doing the deep work, and unlearning decades of hustle conditioning.
He wasn’t just looking for a band-aid; he wanted a fundamental shift. And that’s exactly what he got.
The Hidden Toll of Always Keeping It Together
The pressure to maintain the facade of effortless success has consequences—physically, emotionally, and mentally.
Burnout That Feels Like Failure – The exhaustion you’re experiencing? It’s not because you’re weak or not “managing it well enough.” It’s because you were never meant to live like this. Chronic stress depletes your energy, creativity, and ability to enjoy the very life you’re working so hard to build【1】.
Disconnection from Yourself – When was the last time you asked yourself what you actually want? Not what your boss expects, not what your family needs, not what society pressures you into. You. High achievers often lose themselves in the endless loop of obligation, mistaking external validation for inner fulfillment【2】.
The Perfectionism Trap – You believe if you just try a little harder, organize a little better, you can finally breathe. But perfectionism is an unwinnable game—it keeps you chasing an ideal that doesn’t exist. The more you strive, the more you reinforce the belief that you’re not enough as you are【3】.
The Stress-Body Connection – The body keeps score. Holding it all together often leads to symptoms like anxiety, insomnia, adrenal fatigue, and even midlife health challenges hitting like a freight train【4】. Your body is talking—are you listening?
The Flow Factor – Studies on optimal performance show that people experience more fulfillment, creativity, and ease when they allow themselves to operate from a state of flow rather than rigid control【5】.
So, What’s the Alternative?
If holding it all together is breaking you, what’s the other option? Falling apart? Letting everything go? Walking away from your life?
Not at all. But something does need to shift.
Redefine Strength – Real strength isn’t about pretending you have it all together. It’s about knowing when to pause, when to delegate, when to say “no,” and when to ask for help. Strength is allowing yourself the space to breathe.
Break the Perfection Myth – Stop measuring yourself by impossible standards. The most powerful shift you can make is choosing wholeness over perfection. You are already enough. You don’t have to earn your worth through exhaustion.
Learn to Receive – High achievers are exceptional givers but often terrible receivers. Start practicing the art of allowing—whether it’s support, rest, or pleasure. You don’t have to do it all alone.
Listen to Your Body – The tension in your shoulders, the constant fatigue, the brain fog—these aren’t random. They are signals. Instead of pushing through, what if you paused and responded to what your body is asking for?
The Results of Letting Go
For Mike, making these shifts didn’t happen overnight, but through our work together, he embraced a completely new way of being.
He restructured his work schedule, prioritized his well-being, and started saying no to things that drained him.
Within months, his health improved, his sleep returned, and his connection with his family deepened in ways he hadn’t experienced in years.
And here’s the kicker—his business didn’t fall apart.
In fact, he became a more effective leader, making clearer decisions, and delegating with greater ease.
He finally understood: Success doesn’t have to mean complete and utter self-sacrifice.
It’s Time to Stop Playing the Game
The myth of holding it all together is a game designed for you to lose.
But here’s the secret: You don’t have to play.
You get to redefine what success looks like.
You get to reclaim your time, your energy, and your peace.
But it starts with a choice—to let go of the myth and start building a life that actually supports you.
If you’re ready to take that step but don’t know where to start, let’s talk.
Book a call with me, and let’s figure out what letting go of holding it all together actually looks like for you.
Make LOVE not HUSTLE
P.S. If you're looking for resources on slowing down, here's are my top tips to get you to start meditating ... and there's a link to a book in there that give amazing guidance on when things fall apart. Go check it out!
REFERENCES
Brown, B. (2018). Dare to Lead: Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts. Random House.
Nagoski, E., & Nagoski, A. (2020). Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle. Ballantine Books.
Maté, G. (2003). When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress. Wiley.
Northrup, C. (2001). The Wisdom of Menopause. Bantam.
Csikszentmihalyi, M. (1990). Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience. Harper & Row.